Severely dipressed and dunno wth is going on?

i dont usuay do this but i got to a point i am not liking at all! to start off am 18 and ive been unhappy for about a year and a half! dont realy knw the exact reason but i think its in from my x. we broke up with a year and a half ago and we wer so inluv, 6 months after the break up she goes out with her best friend. i think maybe thats the reason but its been a year and a half, thats crazy if i still feel sumthin. after we broke up, alooot of gd things happened to me, i got a car, a boat, trip to amsterdam, and still till today non of those made me truly happy. i look arround me and i feel i cant trust anyyyyyy1 even my own shadow and my own family. am the kind of guy thats a lil mature enough mentaly to understand the world arround me, but for sum reason i keep going to sleep dipressed and i wake up dipressed. now the point i got to that i dont wanna get to, is suicide! i ddint think abt doing it wat so ever, but thoughts abt it are starting to gather in my head, and i wanna stop this b4 it gets worse. i dont want any1 tellin me that am weak or sumthin cuz i stuck for a whole year and a half smilin everytime i go out, just so i wont bother my friends family and ppl arround me. and i kept it inside for a year and a half, but its not gettin better. now sum1 plzzz tell me wats going on!