How can a child resist a man who has authority over her with on his mind ?

When I was a few minutes away from being d I was so mesmerized by the power my rapist had over me. My parents respected him and had told me to obey all adult authority over me implicitly. My own heart had rested all my safety in his care because after all, " all adults know better " according to my parents . I felt speechless as he was raping me because of the guilt of rebelling against an authority figure. At first when he began I struggled " respectfully " doing my best not to offend this " trusted authority figure " since I had to reverence and " respect him as an adult ". Then when I saw I had no escape and was to exhausted to resist any longer I thought " things will somehow be ok since i am obeying my elder ". How can obedience to " authority " heal a d mind and body ? Why didnt I have the strength to scream and rebel against this rule of respect for authority ? How does a rule have such power that it empowers a rapist to hurt a little girl ? plz pray for me